Couldn't be happier!

I Love You Man, Black Hawk Down, Panic, A Scanner Darkly, Traitor, an episode of Weeds, Entourage, True Blood, and 3 episodes of the X-Files.....it's Friday, I've only worked 4 days this week and I've watched all of those movies and shows at work so far. The 11 hour days are always long, but this week....this week has been the longest ever.

I'm getting out, breaking free from the vortex. The "Giant" grasp has a hold of me no longer. I've been so much happier the last week, and for good reason. I FINALLY got a new job. 8:30 to 5:30 baby! Just the thought of getting out at a normal time and having weekends off makes me wake up with a smile daily. Although this week has been the longest ever, clearly because I know that these are my final days, there is a great satisfaction in knowing that when I punch out tonight, it will be for the last time.

I'm joining a gym and I'm going to be working out with a friend every night as well as playing basketball and raquetball. I won't have to worry about my schedule changing and missing my basketballs games on Monday nights. I'll be able to go to church on the weekends and go out with friends when they go do things when I used to be working. Ring Ring, "Hey what's up? Oh you're going camping this weekend? I'd love to come" That's what I'll be saying instead of getting pissed about another fun time missed because of my work schedule.

I just couldn't be happier! I'm sitting here at work with a smile. No more frantically rushing to get home from work to start having fun. No more being the last person to a friends house or to meet at the bowling alley. AAAHHHHHH! And that's a relaxing aaahhh like when you take a sip of cold water on a super hot day. I haven't even started the new job yet and I've already been so much happier just knowing that I'll have time for life again. Not to mention I'll be around people at work, no more being alone all day every day. That takes a toll. Sweet deal!

Who knows, maybe when I tell people from now on that I'm, "Living the dream" it won't be a total lie. Alllright giggity giggity goo

Amazing Fox

This is just so cool to me. Crazy how it can tell by listening exactly where the mouse is.

Poetry

Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

Ventilation

11 hours, that's how long I work everyday. When you go to work at 10 and leave at 9, it really leaves you with the feeling that you have no time for life. I leave work every night in a frantic rush to get home so I can relax, or go out and have fun. This mindset has set me on edge. "Crap, I need to get gas." There goes 10 minutes. "I need to do laundry again already?" There goes some of the few precious moments I have to enjoy. I haven't even folded laundry in months. It sits in a pile on my floor because I don't want to take the 20 minutes it will take me to fold them, because that takes away from my few moments I have for myself. I've become lazy and that's the worst part. I'm lazy because I don't want to spend the sliver of "me time" doing anything, except what I want to do.
My phone rings, it's a friend of mine. "Nope, sorry man I can't come, I'm working." It's the same thing every time. I'm sick of it. I'm 23, I should be out with friends and meeting girls, but I'm not, I'm here, at work. Thankfully, God has blessed me with a family I cannot describe with words. They aren't perfect, but they are perfect to me. Thanks to them and some great friends I am truly happy, without them I'd probably be walking across America, like Peter Jenkins.
Happiness is what you make it. You can choose to be happy no matter what the situation in life, or you can choose to be miserable. Work has me teetering on the edge, it's pushing me toward misery, but prevail, it will not. I am okay now, but things will get better, I will get what I want out of life, especially once I get a job with normal hours.

It was my day off, I should have been sleeping.....Thanks Neener

"A Christmas episode? Why are they showing a Christmas episode of Ellen? Seems like a random re-run to be showing at the end of July. Weird." It's 9:30am, I should be in bed out cold right now, but nooo, I'm in this dreadful place.

The lady's voice from the counter brought me back to reality. "Here you go, fill out these forms. The top two copies are for you, the rest are for me. Make sure you sign all the pages and initial where it asks."

I hate signing all these forms. I never read any of them. It could be telling me that I am signing away the life of my first born child and I would be clueless. I probably should be reading them, but that's not the American way of doing things. Everyone knows you are supposed to rifle through the papers and sign them as quickly as possible. Alas, I digress, lets get back to the story.

It sucks being here. The smell of old people, the whining of drills, and I'm pretty sure I just heard a baby goat being slaughtered in the back room. That's right, you guessed it. I'm at the dentist. My name finally gets called from the back room...

...Let's take a step back and take a look at why I am here. I haven't been to the dentist in about 5 years. I brush a few times a day and floss regularly, but the other day my sister Caitlin, my family often calls here Neener, saw a little dark spot on one of my teeth. I had a filling once when I was young, but it was because when my tooth came in it didn't have enamel on part of it and they had to do a filling so it wouldn't rot. I honestly couldn't even remember what tooth that had been done on. Back to the story...

....As I headed to the back room I saw the lady that was calling my name. She was rocking her Indian head dressing and her name was Hansamala or something like that. Now I was sure I heard a baby goat being slaughtered back here. She told me stories about growing up on Bauka Lauka Dauka Street in Dirka Dirkastan and about how she had put Jihads on a few Infidel's growing up......Nahh, she didn't tell me anything like that, but I did imagine it.

I hadn't been to this office before so she had to take somewhere around 4,000 xrays of my mouth. It hit me! Why blow yourself up in a bombing when you can xray everyone into stupidity! I could literally feel myself getting dumber xray by xray. What a brilliant plan! We just sit there all unsuspecting and they zap our brains into mush! I probably have like 7 malignant brain tumors now. On a more serious note, she was a very nice lady....FOR A TERRORIST! No, I'm just joking.....but seriously.

Anyway, 6 billion brain cells later I was off to see the doctor and get my black spotted tooth, which I assumed was a cavity, looked at. After what seemed like an eternity, probably about a minute and a half, the dentist rolled and and ask what seems to be the problem. I told him how my sister had seen a spot on my tooth and I just assumed it was a cavity. "Where is it?" He asked. I pointed. "That? That's the filling that you have." I felt like an idiot. I thought to myself for a second, "This clearly isn't my fault, how was I supposed to remember where that filling was? Thanks a lot Neener! Make me waste a perfectly good morning on my day off!" After all I had to blame this trip on somebody, clearly not myself. It's not like she was looking out for my well being or anything, there was clearly some malicious intent in there ;) Bottom line is, because I'm retarded I wasted two hours for no reason at the dentist office. Seriously though, thanks for looking out for me Neener, I really do appreciate it.

Oh, the fun of the dentist. I went in with a perfectly good mouth and came out with brain cancer...

Disclaimer: No goats were harmed in the making of this blog.

What About Bob

I'm sitting there enjoying reading a book at work, then I hear it....bang bang bang! It's Bob, banging his cane on the glass windows that separate my store from the crappiest mall on Earth. All I can think to myself is, "Why? Why does he have to come talk to me every day!?" Bob is a sixty-something year old man that power-walks around the mall everyday and thinks we are best friends.

Every single day I work in this stupid store he comes in, sits down at my counter, and starts talking to me. I wouldn't mind it too much if he just dropped in to say hi, but he'll sit here talking to me for at least 20 minutes demanding my attention no matter how busy I am. No matter what I am doing he'll just say something like, "Get off that phone" or "You can pause that movie and watch it later." It drives me crazy. Every day he asks me, "So you going to try one of those shakes today?" He is talking about the shakes from a ice cream shop a few stores down, and every day I give him the same answer. "No Bob, I don't want one." Even though he has told me every time that the shakes have no artificial or added sugar, he feels I need to be reminded.

Today he went on another rant about how all the "Mexicans" are taking all the jobs and how upset it makes him, "because they are taking all the jobs from the hard working white people." So for the 37th time I explained to him how immigration is a good thing and it is only the illegal aliens that are hurting our economy. I'm pretty sure he thinks that they are all illegal aliens, or that they should all be treated that way. Don't get me wrong though, that conversation was a blast!!! Not.

Bob then went on to talk politics with me. I don't mind talking politics, and in many ways I agree with what Bob says. The problem I had was when he started talking about how bad Obama was, and how he wishes he wasn't in office. I couldn't agree with him more, but he went on to tell me how he didn't vote because he was too lazy to go. How are you going to sit there and complain about who we have as president when you didn't vote just because you didn't feel like it? Things like that drive me crazy! Don't complain when you had the opportunity to vote for what you wanted and you didn't take it.

Anyway, enough of my ranting and raving. I just did what I do everyday. Sit there and nod with a faint smile and say nothing until the awkward silence is unbearable and he says, "Well, I guess I better get back to my walk."

I'm a Bad American

I'm sure a lot of you have already read this before, but even if you have it never hurts to read it again and remind ourselves of what it means to be American. This was supposedly written by Ted Nugent but it has also been credited to a few other sources. I don't really care who wrote it, but whoever did is a true American. If only we all felt like this. Whoever wrote this is my hero....

I'm a Bad American - this pretty much sums it up for me. I like big trucks, big boats, big houses, and naturally, pretty women.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some midlevel governmental functionary with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts squirting out babies.

I don't care about appearing compassionate.

I think playing with toy guns doesn't make you a killer. I believe ignoring your kids and giving them Prozac might.

I think I'm doing better than the homeless.

I don't think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird or make me mad.

This is my life to live, and not necessarily up to others expectations.

I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it.

I don't celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that's fine; I just don't feel like everyone else should have to.

I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy Queen shake, a pack of cigarettes, or hotel room you do it in English. As of matter of fact, if you are an American citizen you should speak English. My uncles and forefathers shouldn't have had to die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours, and make us bend to your will.

Get over it.

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry butt if you're running from them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word 'freeze' or 'stop' in English, see the previous line.

I don't use the excuse "it's for the children" as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.

I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation do a recount when needed. I know what the definition of lying is, and it isn't based on the word "is" -ever.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans, etc., so you can open a hotel, 7-Eleven, trinket shop, or any thing else, while the indigenous peoples can't get past a high school education because they can't afford it. I didn't take the initiative in inventing the Internet.

I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.

I want them to bring back safe and sane fireworks.

I believe no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice-T or Marilyn Manson sang, but that doesn't mean I want to listen to that crap from someone else's car when I'm stopped at a red light. But I respect your right to.

I think that being a student doesn't give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack In The Box.

I don't want to eat or drink anything with the words light, lite or fat-free on the package.

Our soldiers did not go to some foreign country and risk their lives in vain and defend our Constitution so that decades later you can tell me it's a living document ever changing and is open to interpretation. The guys who wrote it were light years ahead of anyone today, and they meant what they said - now leave the document alone, or there's going to be trouble.

I don't hate the rich. I help the poor. I know wrestling is fake.

I've never owned, or was a slave, and a large percentage of our forefathers weren't wealthy enough to own one either. Please stop blaming me because some prior white people were idiots - and remember, tons of white, Indian, Chinese, and other races have been enslaved too - it was wrong for every one of them.

I believe a self-righteous liberal Democrat with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell's Angel with an attitude.

I want to know exactly which church is it where the "Reverend" Jessie Jackson preaches; and, what exactly is his job function.

I own a gun, you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun, but if you use it in a crime, then you will serve the time.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it makes you mad, then invent the next operating system that's better and put your name on the building. Ask your buddy that invented the Internet to help you.

I don't believe in hate crime legislation. Even suggesting it makes me mad. You're telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this country has more value as a human being that I do as a white male.

If someone kills anyone, I'd say that it's a hate crime. We don't need more laws! Let's enforce the ones we already have.

I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, turkey fake anything sucks.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child. It takes a parent with the guts to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say "NO!" when it's necessary to do so.

I'll admit that the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller.

I didn't realize Dr. Seuss was a genius until I had a kid.

I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have these beliefs and opinions. I thought this country allowed me that right.

I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody's feelings.

I'm neither angry nor disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.

Yes, I guess by some people's definition, I may be a bad American.

But that's tough.